Returning to work after parental leave
Returning to work is another big moment of transition. You will be establishing a whole new rhythm to your days. You will be handing over care of your child to someone else for some of the time, this means new relationships, finding trust and connection with those people who will be taking over some of your time with your child.
Work might look and feel different. Work might feel very similar but you might feel different.
Periods of change are stressful. That stress might be exciting and welcome. It might also bring up feelings of guilt or uncertainty about the changes you are making. However you are feeling about it is okay.
It’s worth considering how you will take care of yourself during this time and how you are setting yourself up for success. What things can you put in place now to support you to feel confident and prepared as you approach this next phase of motherhood?
This can be a really good time to explore private coaching, some dedicated time for you to explore the balance. Explore the balance with someone who is dedicated to you and your wellbeing. If you would like to explore this, please do get in touch or book a chat.
A few Things to consider when planning your return to work;
One. Give yourself and your baby time to adjust to this transition. Most nurseries offer a settling policy. This is usually a gradual increase of time spent there over a week or two. Most children will not be fully settled in a week or two. If you have the budget, spreading this out over a few weeks might be worth considering. Another option might be using some holiday to have a phased return.
Two. Usually children (and parents) will experience a lot of illness in the first few months. Talk about how you will manage this. Some options would be to start childcare early, to have an arrangement where your partner takes more time off if your child is sick initially to allow you to find your rhythm again. It could also be about really clear communication with your work about how you will manage this, before it happens. So you have a system in place.
Three. Do you feel professional, comfortable and stylish in your work wardrobe? Does it feel exciting to get these clothes out of storage? If not, make some changes. It could be a nice thing to have some time with a stylist while your child is settling into their childcare. You could also explore clothes swaps or Vinted for some good second hand options.
Four. You might choose to use some K.I.T. (Keeping In Touch) time to make sure everything you need is in place. Equipment, access to key software, a desk! Having some meetings with key people so you have a sense of what you are walking back into, there might be some reading that might help you to feel up to speed. Equally you might choose to leave work at work and enjoy focusing on your last days and weeks at home. This is about what works best for you.
Five. Transitional times can take their toll. If you enjoy cooking, finding the time to fill the freezer and make some tasty and nourishing food for the future can be a nice way to care for yourself. But equally if you haven’t got the time, energy or inclination it can also be lovely to have tasty ready meals, let other people take care of this element and/or ordering take away.
Six. Often it is the mother who takes parental leave. Often, the mother, while on parental leave will pick up the majority of childcare and the majority of the work around the home. As you return to work this arrangement will need to be reviewed. No single task is worth discussing, so often it doesn’t get talked about at all. However all those small tasks add up to a lot of time and energy, so it is worth finding the time to talk about the little things. The book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky can be a helpful read when you are considering the distribution of household tasks.
Feelings about childcare…
Firstly, there is no ‘perfect’ balance. There is just the best fit for you, your family and your circumstances.
Also, childcare can be a huge benefit to your child, they’ll have new experiences, make friends, have other adults that they will develop relationships with and have different learning opportunities.
And, this can be a wonderful thing for you too. Finding the right balance and a life that makes you feel happy and fulfilled is the very best thing for your child.
SUPPORT for returning to work
This might be a brilliant time to invest in yourself. To have some time to get clear about what is most important to you. To have some tools and strategies to help with confidence, resilience and wellbeing as you take on more responsibility. You might find coaching helpful, click here for more information about what that could look like.
You might also find this episode of The Fourth Trimester podcast helpful.
