What Is A Postpartum Doula?

Hannah: 

Why did you decide to provide support for women after birth as a postpartum doula?

Emelia: 

I got into this work after my own birth. So, so many people prepared me for the birth, they didn’t prepare me for the postpartum. We came home with our son, Thomas, and that’s when it all hit. That’s when I felt like the system had failed me. 

That’s where I felt a lack of support. The house needed cleaning, I would have loved some hot food, some support. I wanted almost a bit of everything. So I went looking, I was on Google one day, while my son slept on me. That was when I came across a postpartum doula. It just clicked. 

It started from there. 

Hannah: 

That was my experience too. I see so much out there about birth. It obviously needs to be prepared for and absolutely you deserve the time to reflect on what your choices are, and what’s important to you. But, I feel like there’s very little out there about how you want to feel when you meet your baby. 

Emelia: 

I did the birthing classes and I felt like none of that really prepared me for what was about to happen. It was very much a shock to my system. 

Hannah: 

For anyone who hasn’t worked with a postpartum doula, what is it that postpartum doulas do? How do they support mothers? 

Emelia: 

A postpartum doula supports families during the postpartum period. Generally, it is known as the first three months after birth. It is also helping women during pregnancy to prepare for their postpartum. 

It is very much that emotional and physical support. Home visits could include, cleaning, chores, running errands, helping with breastfeeding, looking after the baby while mum gets some rest, cooking meals. It will look different with each family, depending on what they need. Almost to fill in the gaps that we often forget about. 

Hannah: 

This work is so needed, many of us are having families living far away from extended family support. Friends are busy working and raising their own children, so for some of us it can feel very lonely. 

So if you don’t have that support it’s nice to still be able to access it. 

Emelia: 

We find that people mean well, they say they will support you and bring food, pop in etc. However they are in their routine and it’s easy for them to think, I’ll do that next week…another day. We don’t have a village anymore. Our families, especially more so since the pandemic, people are more separated and more isolated than they were before. It is much harder. 

Hannah: 

If someone is thinking about hiring a postpartum doula, what sort of things should they look for? 

Emelia: 

I would want someone that I connect with straight away. You get a sense quickly if there is a connection or not. It is such a crucial stage of life, it needs to be a calm, nourishing, enjoyable experience. 

You deserve a really positive experience, to have someone who is going to show up day after day and be fully invested in you and your postpartum. 

Hannah: 

Did you have your own postpartum doula? 

Emelia: 

No. Looking back, we’re told to buy so many unnecessary things. So many things we didn’t use, I wish we had invested the money elsewhere. 

Hannah: 

My sister is giving birth, she was telling me about all these YouTube videos of different mum’s sharing their ‘newborn essentials’. I wanted to shout, you are the essential newborn. Your baby needs you, you meet pretty much all of their needs. You feeling the best you possibly can, having loads of support around you is the newborn essential. 

Hannah: 

Do you think women need dedicated support after their birth? Do you think there is enough understanding about the shifts and changes our bodies experience?

Emelia: 

Everyone says ‘we’ve done it, you’ll be fine, you’ll find your way’. Looking back, yes, we’ve done it. But at what cost? What does it cost to have to navigate that alone? 

We don’t talk about the healing that actually happens to our bodies. We don’t talk about the fact that bonding with your baby might not happen straight away. Every birth is different, every postpartum is different. 

Hannah: 

A close friend was laughing with me because she had packed pre-pregnancy clothes in her hospital bag. She had this idea that, after the birth, she would simply slip her jeans back on and life would resume. 

We don’t talk about it. 

Most women I know still, years and years later, are still healing from birth. That process takes time and sometimes some professional support along the way. 

Hannah: 

Traditional Chinese Medicine speaks of 40 days for 40 years when referring to the six weeks after a baby is born. That the postpartum period is a crucial time to invest in your health and wellbeing, that how you recover really matters. 

Practically, what things would you encourage women who are giving birth soon to put in place to support themselves. 

Emelia: 

If you can, plan your postpartum. 

Have a think about how you want to feel? What do you want that experience to be? 

Do you want a few visitors in those first few weeks? Do you want none? 

Can you get some meal delivery services? 

What will make it easier for you and your partner? 

Have conversations with your partner before the baby arrives. What do you expect of each other? These conversations probably won’t be as calm as they could have been before! 

What are your expectations of each other? If this isn’t communicated, it can be quite hard. 

Make sure you have a feeding caddy with you at all times. Full of snacks, water, TV remote, cloths, your pump (if you are expressive), nipple balm etc. Your partner can take on refilling this as required. 

Maybe invest in some beautiful slippers and pyjamas for yourself. 

What is it that you need to feel safe, comfortable and cared for during your postpartum time? 

Start practising your boundaries as early as possible. Practice asking people to leave, to help with small tasks around the house. For example, “please could you pick up some milk on your way over?” or “please could you put the bin on the curb on your way out?”. 

Do you have the telephone numbers for some good supportive professionals, mental health support, breastfeeding support…just in case. 

Hannah: 

The big gift I gave myself for my second postpartum period was a big comfy feeding chair. I reorganised the furniture in the bedroom so it had the nicest possible view. So when I sat, for hours, with baby Thomas through the day and through the night it was cosy and comfortable. 

Emelia: 

I underestimated just how much time I would spend feeding my son. All my clients are shocked by how much time it takes. 

Hannah: 

I found having a view really helpful. In my first postpartum period, I struggled with the lack of routine. The days and nights blurring into one. I also know that I hate being indoors a lot. So having a view, sitting by a window was really important for me. 

Hannah: 

We spoke about having a home cooked meal earlier. Are there any meals that you would recommend buying in or cooking for the freezer, or even asking your postpartum doula to make for you? 

Emelia: 

The more nourishing the better. Probably not lasagne. You will get loads of lasagne! There is only so much lasagne you can eat. 

If you are cooking, just double it and take that over the spare portion. You don’t need to go out of your way to get special ingredients.  

In terms of recipes, soups, stews…anything that is warming. Those meals that are good for the soul and warm the belly. 

Roast Vegetable Soup with a fresh loaf of Sourdough 

Chickpea and Vegetable Curry

Spiced Pumpkin and Coconut Soup   

Sweet Spicy Nuts 

Trail Mix 

Granola bars 

Hannah: 

Do you include massage as part of your doula services? 

Emelia: 

I don’t but this is where it is key to find the right postpartum doula for you. I know doulas that love to use essential oils, belly binding, closing the bones ceremonies, yoni steaming or even a simple foot soak and a foot rub. 

It comes down to the individual doula and what they love to offer.

Find someone who aligns with you and your values. That’s what you want to be searching for when you are looking for a postpartum doula.